As the U.S. political arena increasingly resembles a production of Cats performed by actual cats, Americans are looking for a new leader. That leader is Canada. Yes, under the banner of the Canada Party, the entire country is running for president of the United States.--P. [4] of cover.
Details here.
Details here.
Authors
- Control Number Identifier
- CaOOCEL
- Dewey Decimal Classification Number
- C818/.602
- Dewey Decimal Edition Number
- 23
- General Note
- Issued as part of the desLibris books collection
- Geographic Area Code
- n-us---
- ISBN
- 9781771000635 9781771000628
- LCCN
- PN6178.C3
- LCCN Item number
- C35 2012eb
- Modifying agency
- CaBNVSL
- Original cataloging agency
- CaOONL
- Physical Description | Extent
- 1 electronic text (149 p.)
- Publisher or Distributor Number
- CaOOCEL
- Rights
- Access restricted to authorized users and institutions
- System Control Number
- (CaBNVSL)slc00230548 (OCoLC)809995830 (CaOOCEL)444233
- System Details Note
- Mode of access: World Wide Web
- Transcribing agency
- CaOONL
Table of Contents
- Contents 8
- Foreword: by Abraham Lincoln 12
- Introduction 14
- Really Important Maps 20
- 1 America and Canada Continental BFFs 26
- 1.1 Timeline of U.S.-Canadian History 28
- 1.2 Grok the Vote: Campaign Reform for Idiots 31
- 1.3 Making English the Official Language for Native English Speakers 36
- 1.4 Combining Our Cities: Welcome to Van Francisco, Dirty Hippie Capital of the World! 38
- 1.5 Understanding Hockey, from the Country That Gave You Football and Basketball 41
- 1.6 The Cameron Plan: America in 3d 45
- 1.7 How to Say You’re Sorry without Looking like a Total Pussy 49
- 2 It’s a Small World (Unless You’re Liechtenstein) 56
- 2.1 American Exceptionalism, or How to Make Other Countries Feel Bad about Their Bodies 58
- 2.2 Killing with Kindness, Torturing with Tenderness 61
- 2.3 Weaponizing Politeness: Fight like a Canadian! 64
- 2.4 Showing Nature Who’s Boss 69
- 2.5 Un-American Idol: How Reality Shows Can Stop Illegal Immigration 75
- 2.6 A Simple Solution for Integrating Our Indigenous Peoples 78
- 2.7 The Metric System: Exactly Ten Times More Awesome Than Imperial Units 78
- 3 The Irony of Being Ironic in a Post-Ironic Age 84
- 3.1 The Elitist Scourge: How to Hate People Who Are Better Than You 86
- 3.2 Citizens Divided: People Are Now Corporations 89
- 3.3 Thoughts on Relieving America’s Sexual Tension 92
- 3.4 The Question of: a) Education 96
- 3.5 Health Care: More Than Just a Dental Plan for Hockey Players 100
- 3.6 Helping Children Determine Their Value as Future Americans 102
- 3.7 Obesity: Big Thoughts on Big People 107
- 3.8 All We Are Saying Is Give Guns a Chance 110
- 3.9 Crime and Punishment, and then Crime Again 112
- 4 Treating Experts like Mammals: An Ideological Throwdown! 116
- 4.1 Grandpa Lost His Shins in the Big One: Our Statute of Limitations on Living Off Other People’s Sacrifices 118
- 4.2 What to Do with “the Gays” 121
- 4.3 You Are not the Father! Abstinence-Only Education and the Rise of Immaculate Conceptions 124
- 4.4 Media Libs 126
- 4.5 Weed. Sweet, Sweet Weed. 129
- 4.6 The Constitution, Annotated 129
- 4.7 Science vs. Religion (Spoiler: Science Wins in Overtime!) 134
- 4.8 Living in Fear: The War of the Words 137
- Appendix A: Some Handy Tear-Out Application Forms 144
- Application for Supreme Court Justice 144
- Application to Be an Airport Screener for the Transportation Security Administration (tsa) 147
- Application for Congressional Strategist 149
- Application to Work at the Department of Motor Vehicles in Charlottesville, Virginia 151
- Appendix B: Canadian Glossary 154
- Get to know your new leader’s language 154
- Acknowledgments 160
